communication

A great deal of our communication is non-verbal and we rarely realize the effect that it has on others. Our tone of voice, our body language (particularly our eyes and face), our attitudes and our feelings, are constantly in communication with others, expressing anger, fear, love, trust, rejection – in fact, all our feelings and emotions. We cannot hide what we mean; we may do so for a while, but finally the truth emerges.

Communication is not just with others, but also with the self, with the Supreme Being and even nature. Being still, focused and open enables us to tune in to others so that we can respond in an appropriate and meaningful way, not simply in a mechanical way.

Here are some common reasons for blocks to communication:

* Too many thoughts, and an overload of words and actions, results in us being unable to think clearly. We lose the essence of what is trying to be conveyed (transmitted) by the other.

* Being lost in our own feelings or ideas. In such a state we do not listen attentively to others.

* Remembering the past in a negative way. This does not allow us to tune in properly to our present and future. When we do not communicate properly with the needs of the present time, we loose opportunities.

* Lack of sincerity. When our thoughts and feelings are honest and respectful, then the hearts of others will open to us. A positive highway of trust is built and communication flows positively.

* Creating negative perceptions (understandings) and emotions about others i.e. how we visualize or label them. Such emotions, no matter how well hidden, are finally always communicated to others on a subtle (non-physical), non-verbal level, and create an atmosphere of tension and unease.

* Not letting go of negative perceptions (understandings) and emotions. The only method to revive our relationship with others is to let go of negativity on a daily basis, to prevent it from building up. Far too often, the build-up happens without us even noticing it and, we wonder why positive feedback is not coming from the other side.

* Lack of silence. To go deep into the self and put our thoughts and feelings into silence enables them to become positive. The silent relaxation defuses (reduces) anger and the blame and complaints that often go with it.

What are the ways to improve communication?

* Listen with both ears. I should be an active listener by tuning in fully and being present fully with the person and with the moment. If I am not, I listen through one ear and let it out of the other, or I only half listen, which finally creates misunderstandings.

* Understand where the other person is coming from. Do not just assume, imagine or judge; when we do this, our critical vision prevents others from expressing what they wish to say. Then, because of wrong or half-right assumptions, others are not given the possibility to improve, or express, outside the boundaries of what we think of them. To give others a true chance to express themselves, we must not place our own boundaries around them.

* Think before speaking. This is not something new, but however often we hear it, we forget to apply it. To think before speaking means to show consideration to the other and then we say the right thing, at the right time, in the right way.

What are the ways to improve communication?

* Say what we mean, always. When we speak with courage and a calm self-confidence without force, then communication is honest, open, clear and trusted. Courage doesn’t mean to say what we think others want to hear. If we lack courage because of the need for approval and acceptance, or because of a lack of confidence, then communication and the consequent relationship remains superficial and artificial. No one feels satisfied with this situation.

* Learn the language of silence. It is the basis of right intentions, positive feelings and clear attitudes. In this language, there is only one grammar: honesty and kindness. Honesty creates clarity and kindness creates respectfulness.

When we take time to reflect on our level of communication with everyone we meet, the realizations we have in silence will be manifested (displayed) in the higher quality and ease of interaction that we will find in all relations: be it with the self, with others or with the Supreme Source of Light.